It’s been a little over two weeks since my awful raid experience. I haven’t logged on since, and I haven’t healed. The day after the raid, the raid leader talked to me and interestingly the biggest thing on his mind from the previous morning was my healing numbers. I knew that this was not the place for me and I bowed out of the raid team.
There were a couple things (some that happened before the talk and some that happened after) that really confirmed that I had made the right decision. One of the officers had made a post titled my character’s name and proceeded to critique all my gems, enchants etc. with no reference to any credible priest resource. Shortly after my conversation with the raid leader, I saw a recruitment post go up for my spot with a special note that they would not tolerate “weak-minded” people. Yep, I was done.
The last two weeks have had me trying my best to figure out what it all means for my WoW future. Somehow, they really did get to me and made me question my own ability to heal. For the longest while, the thought of raid frames and healing just made me feel sick.
This might’ve been the end of it if not for the advice and support of all the folks who commented on the blog and talked to me. I just want to say a big “Thank you” to you all. Two weeks ago, I truly did believe that I would just be walking away from it all, a failed healer and whatnot. And I’m truly thankful to everyone who took the time to tell me it was them and not me. I wanted to believe it then, but it took me all this while to be able to.
I still enjoy playing WoW and blogging, and if the chapter ever comes to an end, I want it to be my decision alone and not be intimidating into quitting. I’ve been slowly dipping my toes back into WoW with some alt-levelling on an RAF account – something I’ve never really done before but boy, is triple experience fun! 🙂 I still haven’t yet logged into my priest but now it’s more a matter of when, rather than if. And I’m slowly working on getting all those unpublished Healing Perspectives posts out as well.
To the wonderful blogging community, commenters, and friends: Thank you, again.